9 Years earlier

I wake up at 5am, and my brain is haywire. It is thinking through this scenario. I'm not sure what level of sleep I was in, but I must have been thinking about this in my subconcious prior to waking up.

What if I was the person I am now 9 years ago. Back at School, without the self esteem, acne and in consistently better shape. Able to talk to people, actually know what I want to do, have control, all those things.

How my life would have been better through college and then university, how I was holding myself back for a number of reasons and self doubt.

Oh my god, all the hot girls who took a liking and nothing happened, because-- because I had no idea what to do and all those excuses. Wasted time. Failed opportunities.

It is so clear now, things would have been similar, but different in a good way. I think?

But, I am in my bed thinking about this. It hasn't literally happened, and it won't. Because there is no magic. There is no rewind button. All those regrets or the times after something happened when I then knew what to do in those scenarios... just gone.

The brain won't stop. It wasn't nought to sixty in 7 seconds, it was sixty in 0.1 seconds.

However, I am awake early against my wishes. Thinking about what could have been. Too fucking late, it is all too late.

Move on, start now. Keep failing until you get it right.

Nothing I can do about the past. Nothing.

Spilled milk, pour yourself another glass.

What a waste of an hour.

Fountain

It's taking me a while to get used to the syntax (which Fountain is, I did not mention this before)

However, it is a learning curve and I will get it at some point.

I am trying out typing up a draft into the writing kit ios and it is working quite well.

Once I get the basic things out of the way, everything will become simpler.

Update - it is quite cool. This however has lead me to scrap my current draft and start from the beginning. The reason is that it is 37 pages in and the proper story has not happened yet. Not worried, it will be easier to write it all this time.

Death to screenwriting programs

Following my previous post, I thought fuck it and searched online for new screenwriting apps.

I ended up coming across (for the one hundredth time) Fountain.io. Anyone who listens to Scriptnotes may have heard of Fountain.

Basically, I am doing away with Final Draft and giving an app called Writing Kit a go, the more important point is that I can use any program that supports fountain as it is a text editor where ever I am, with what ever I have to work on it.

Not just my iPad and using Final Draft Reader. I should hopefully be able to access this work on laptop, ipad and phone.

I just had a go on the fountain.io website when it comes to formatting screenplays and it is quite simple. Unlike how time consuming I find final draft to be.

Please let this be a saviour in my life. Please.

Quotes Porn #3

Productivity

As I do things, I always seem to do things the hard way.

I remember writing a script on a laptop at unversity. I would write like a maniac and keep saving until the laptop would overheat and shut down. It slowed down my progress in writing, but I thought of it as helping me to rewrite the script, by going over the same scene sometimes ten times.

Major Ball Ache.

That killed writing for me. For a while, I stayed away from writing until I got the bug again.

Through all this time, I've been using finaldraft. Only now have I started working on using the extras of the program. I mean the basic stuff.

At the moment, I am doing something foolish by rewriting the script from the very beginning. This has got to be slowing me down.

There are easier ways to getting things done, you just have to look a little closer. I honestly wish I did this now. My entire process would have been streamlined.

Yet, I do not mentally feel I am achieving anything unless it is a struggle. Stopping and starting seems to be the basic OS in my head. There needs to be a change in my mental approach to this.The only person I am holding back is myself.

It is an auto-destruct code on my success.

Identify how you are fucking up and work on a patch. Something that overwrites the issue. I feel like I have caused extra work for myself. It is time to take a step back in order to move forward.

Ideally I want to be done with a new draft before my birthday, but in the usual approach, this won't be possible. I hate missing my deadlines as well. Something has to change. That change comes from within.

Quotes Porn #2

MotiSounds #1

Solutions

What do I dislike: my 40 hour a week job.

Solution: Build my own business, so I don't have to do monotonous, boring work.

I have some work ahead of me.

Stand up for yourself

I'll be honest, I hate work. No excuses for me still being there.


It is okay to get angry at people, and let them know it. Do not let it dwell inside you, because I am surrounded by people who hate their lives or are creating one to hate.

What do I owe

Nothing and it is going to stay that way.

Change is the central prerogative.

Quotes Porn #1

Stolen Picture. No reference.

What this is not

This is not a blog of latent teenage angst.

It does not care for the troubles of others.


It is about getting things done.

No excuses.

This is about building myself into the person I will be.

What I will be saying has been said before. Because for some reason, we have to be constantly remind ourselves what to do in our lives.


I have so many things I need to do. Why have I not done this? I have no idea.