A good friend of mine said to me recently "you talk a lot about your script, but I know nothing about it."
The reason is so that I do not create expectations prior to unveiling the work. This is good, but it can be tumultuous as it appears that I have nothing. It's there, it's just in my head.
If it is in my head, does that mean that the story doesn't exist yet? Nobody else has seen it, so that makes sense to me.
The whole thing about writing a script is that is action. Things happen. Things have to happen. Yet, through the months of prep, I have done nothing for anyone, but me. Almost selfishly, like a dragon with it's treasure, mentally having only my interpretation of the project. I love the project. What would happen if I showed it to be and people hated it?
"Hey, I have art. Look at my art!" I would say as people pass me on the street, ignoring me, not having time to stop. But, I put time into it, poured my soul (if I have one) into it. Yet nobody cares.
The thing that makes me in a solipsistic way 'special' and everyone has more important things to do. How crushing that something you want to share. You think that maybe people will stop In their tracks, give you women and money for your so called creative solitude.
As long as I don't write or show. The fantasy of my greatness being realised thrives on. Procrastination + Masturbation = Procrasturbation.
Pathetic.
People hammer in nails, they don't go around and say "look what I did, everyone, stop and look. I have used this hammer to penetrate this wood with a nail."
What happens if people hate what I've made? Actually repulsed by it and me? The worst thing you have ever done?
Well, I just suppose you will not make anything else that bad anymore.
I consider myself a screenwriter. But I have nothing to show. I am in a league of thousands who think the same, and many others in pursuit of vocations that are only active in the mind.
Some days I know how to write this scene, sometimes I have no idea. It's still got to be written.
